Ouch.

Today has been really great so far. Just kidding, not really.

Woke up with wonderful white puss spots on the back of my throat along with a very swollen left tonsil.  I have no feelings of sickness, just a really really hurt throat and neck-well only on the left side.  I noticed my tonsil for awhile having random spots of white stuff on them but I've not felt sick at all, although I've had a hard time swallowing sometimes and felt like my throat was swollen shut (but I am being a little over dramatic).  Regardless, my throat hurts and it hurts to swallow anything, so I've been gargling with salt water every 2 hours.  I can hardly enjoy my coffee.  That pisses me off more than anything.

Here's a little bit about my job:

I am currently an account manager for a building service company, (were a janitor company to say the least) and I take care of over half a million dollars worth of accounts on a daily basis.  Checking in with my customers,  bringing them cupcakes, Starbucks, pretty much whatever makes them happy (and I've learned people REALLY like free stuff). It's pretty fun a lot of the time, I deal with a lot of different people every day and it's really helped me mold into a well rounded person.  This job makes me think all the time, creative solutions are my ally, people don't care what you do as long as shit gets done (which is where the cupcakes and Starbucks come in handy if you can't find a solution right away). Since I'm an account manager, I am also responsible for marketing as well, trying to get buildings, trying to find RFP's (request for proposal) and what not.  I had been working on a RFP for the City of Bellevue since last week, I've come into work hours early to research and finish everything necessary.  This was my first attempt at a response for an RFP, and my manager had TOTAL faith in me, she was sure I could handle it all.  I wasn't feeling any pressure until the day the response was due.  I didn't realize that I had procrastinated in actually filling out the questionnaires and the certificate of insurance's... I acted like I was incompetent almost.  I had no excuse and now i'm totally regretting it, because I could have done the proper research, I just didn't know what questions to ask and I didn't want to show my manager that I wasn't fully capable.  Which I was--I just didn't realize it until the day the response was due. In result, I rushed everything (even though I came to work an hour and a half early) and wasn't feeling 100% confident in what I had turned in.  I know I worked hard, I just didn't feel satisfied with my work.  Nonetheless, we did not get picked, not even to be one of the 3 finalists.  Our company is very well known, and we service Bellevue City Hall, so I naturally thought we had this in the bag.  Needless to say, my ego was broken.  My manager doesn't think it's my fault, but it really feels like it's on me. So, I'm fighting back my tears today.  

When things get bad, everything seems to fall apart. I'm standing in the middle of a collapsing building. But, I'm still smiling through it all.

"She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come." Proverbs 31:25